Unofficial Myspace taboo.....

GUNTHER BULETTIN.....
May 18, 2006 11:48 PM
Subject: my space regulation...fun stuff but true
Body: 1. Delete Tom... he's not your friend, and I promise you that he won't notice if you delete him.
2. Never under any circumstances is it acceptable to say "thanks for the add" unless of course you're a dingle-berry.

Definition of DINGLEBERRY:

A. a small piece of feces stuck in the hairs around the anus after defacation.

B. a person who is perhaps intelligent but engages in annoying behavior.

ie: That professor just assigned a 25-page paper, what a dingleberry!

3. WHEN Putting a damn picture up.

Please Note the Following:

A.) Make sure the picture is of you and not Gumby.

B.) DO NOT post pictures of you when you were thin years ago, when you look nothing like that now!!

C.) DO NOT take poses of yourself to make you look like a model unless you are one.

D.) I am sorry, but you are not Britney Spears or Brad Pitt!! So DO NOT put up their picture in place of yours.

E.) DO NOT ever post pictures and say "OMG, I'm so ugly" because if you were, you wouldn't post them.

F.) DO NOT post pictures of someone else pretending to be them. That is sad and pathetic. Period.

4. "You're" is a contraction meaning "you are." "Your" is a pronoun meaning "belonging to you." Similarly, "they're" is a contraction meaning "they are," "their" is a pronoun meaning "belonging to them," and "there" is an adjective describing a location that is away from "here."

5. ROFL, LOL, LMAO, ROFLMAO are things a retarded monkey would say. It has no use in communication between two mentally competent human beings.

6. Myspace will never figure out if you failed to repost a bulletin. Therefore your profile will not be deleted. Although maybe it should be if you're mentally incompetant enough to believe it.

7. The Trifecta is a perfectly good reason to celebrate. (Trifecta- new comment, new message, and new friend request at the same time.)

8. If you put up a fake job title with $100,000 salaries, someone from your work is going to find your page. So let's stop with this "executive consultative assistant of regional administrative operations" vomit. You're an everyday paper pushin' secretary. FACE IT.... That is why TOM went to college; to be better than YOU.

9. Bands do not belong on your top 8 unless you are personally acquainted with the members of the band and you regularly spend time in their physical presence. I like the Dropkick Murpheys, but that doesn't make them one of my 8 best friends.

10. Deleting someone off your top 8 is not the ultimate insult that you can bestow upon someone. If someone cheats on you, taking them off your top 8 does not make it even. Having sex with their best friend/ roommate/ new girlfriend/ new boyfriend/ sister/ brother/ mother does.

11. Forwarding a mentally incompetent message that says that you will have bad luck or never have sexual intercourse again if you don't forward it is just plain rude. It's like if your neighbor's dog had a bowel movement in your yard, and you call your friend and invite them over, and then when they get there hand them a paper towel and ask them to pick up your neighbor's dog's shit. Fucking stop it.

12. If you constantly post comments on someone's site and they never comment back, that means THEY DON'T PRETEND TO LIKE YOU. Get the clue, because Alex Trebek sure won't give it to you.

13. If you're ugly, stop acting like you don't know it. The half-naked poses or junk in the trunk poses aren't fooling anyone.

14. Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
15. Making 10+ bulletins a day about how you have new pictures or some life altering news and begging people to comment on them shows how you're starving for attention. Make the bulletin once or twice if you have to, and those who actually care will comment or respond.

16. Jr. high & high schoolers who have MySpace and look like sluts or "gangsters" (REAL gangsters don't surf the internet, you dumbfuck), go somewhere else because nobody wants you here. Once again... go climb a tree and be certain to fall out of it.

17. Go to SCHOOL, Go to Work, or For God Sakes Go Hang out with your friends!!!
MYSPACE will be here when you get back!!